Thursday, October 30, 2003

I'm getting all excited about Halloween .... I love holidays ... currently I'm downloading Halloween songs like Monster Mash and Thriller .... *EEEHHHHEEE* I'm so excited
Today I'm hoping to go out and pick up some stuff to hand out tomorrow

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

I'm feeling a bit better today. I woke up to a rather pleasant email from Michele about my marks .... and I recieved a 75% on my presentation, that's better then what I thought I was gonna get.
I was thinking today about my posts and how people say I'm deep, when really there are TONS of things I dont post about. I think there are like three levels
deep, deeper and deepest
deep is apparently what I write
deeper are the things I think of but dont write down ... bc I dont feel comfortable or I just can't organize my thoughts
deepest are those feelings and thoughts you don't understand

Im tired ... sleep more?... sounds good to me

Tuesday, October 28, 2003

Current Events midterm: 90%
Photography midterm: 70%
Political Essay: 100%
Letter to the editor published

Current Events midterm: 90%
Photography midterm: 70%
Political Essay: 100%
Letter to the editor published

I came home to get away from humans and go figure the nurse I hate is working and won't leave me alone .... I WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE !!!!

I think I may call home and force them to pick me up ... cause I am barely holding on

serious post ...

I've hit yet another low point in my life. I'm on the verge of tears and I really don't know why .... something keeps pulling me back and it's frusterating. As soon as I become happy something inside of me is triggered and I begin to feel miserable. This time I can hardly stand it ... it hurts so much.... I just want to cry ... but I can't ... especially not now ... I also want to run to somebody to help me ... run into somebody's arms ... but there is nobody for me to run to ... well there is somebody that I can run to ... but not in that way ... Nimisha listens to everything I say ... she understands me in ways that most people dont (Nimi if you are reading this I want you to know you mean a lot to me ... words can't describe)
I want to bawl ... bah ... breakdown ... I actually want to break down .... omg ... OK I'll talk about something else .. I dont want to depress anyone

So yesterday I had an amazing day because I scored 100%on an essay, my letter to the editor was published (bonus marks) and I recieved a 90% on my midterm .... today I had a presentation and things collapsed ... my nerves had me stumbling over every word and I think I said "um" like 90 bazillion times ... people in the class said it was pretty good and that I shouldn't worry so much ... but I do ... my hands and leg were shaking when I sat down ... and my teeth began chattering ....

Sunday, October 26, 2003

*sings* MASQUERADE!!!!!!!!

I hate projects ... well presentations

Saturday, October 25, 2003

Also ... please post in my "guestbook" ... I want to hear from ANYONE that visits this page

I wonder why I keep turning to the music I do ... friends call it church music ... I call it classical .... but I dunno ... Im too tired to type ... I'll explain later

Talking ... I love talking about the grey issues

Why is it so hard to turn away family or tell them no ... even if it will help them in the end .... I don't know how much more I can stand ... it has been months now ... and I'm only human .... I can't be bashed day in and day out ... I can't stand having the little bit of privacy I have stepped on .... my low self esteem can't be constantly criticized ... yes I know I am depressed at times and pointing it out won't help anything ... having hissy fits and ruining my clothes won't accomplish anything ... nor will organizing my things help organize your life in any way ... JUST LEAVE ME ALONE

Friday, October 24, 2003

I have to do a presentation on Vietnam and I don't even know where to begin .... If only I got a place like Greece, Ireland or Egypt! I swear I would have made the best presentation known to human kind *laughs* ... I don't know anything about Vietnam, other than the war *shrugs* ... Oh well, I'll manage .. I mean it's for Michele's class, so that's all the drive I need to do well

I'm terrified to find out how I did on my midterm ... I mean ... I'm nervous ... I new the answers but couldn't write them down ... it was pissing me off

Ok so ... the last few days I've been able to express some of the thoughts that have been going through my head ... it has really helped me out ... I can't wait until next Current Events class because a few of us have thought up some things we want to talk about .... it's just a matter of who has the guts to actually speak up .... NOT ME

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

I am once again preparing myself to move on ....

I talked to Michele quickly about what was bugging me (after asking about our midterm) ... I couldn't express myself though ... as soon as I walked into her office I got butterflies ... I forgot the english language ... and sat there like a dumbass nodding and giggling ....

Well, it's time for class .... and I feel like crap ... I'm still thinking about what I wrote last night ... it won't stop popping up into my head ... I wish I could go home and see my sister and spend time with her ... I love her sooo much .... she's the bestest ... grrrr at the news .... grrrr at emotions and questions without answers .... grrr at everything .... I just want to sit and talk to somebody ... somebody that will listen and understand me ...
I want so much ... is that wrong? .... BLAH ...

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Should Gov. Jeb Bush order Terry Schiavo's feeding tube reinserted?
29% yes 71% no

I just finished watching the news and the three stories that kept coming up were conjoined twins, abortion and a woman that had her feeding tube removed.
It made me question everything that I know! I'm really scared right now because of the thoughts that are going through my head and I really don't know who to talk to about them.Life is a beautiful thing that should be embraced.
Firstly, abortion is a topic that has been debated about so much. Personally I believe the woman carrying the child should be able to decide what is best for her and the child. Why raise a child in a home where it is not wanted, subjecting it to abuse and other absurdities? Sure there is adoption, but look at how many children are stuck in orphanages. It is a personal decision that can only be made by the mother and father of the child. I dunno as I type this I am questioning myself and it is driving me nuts. All my thoughts do however come back to the fact it is a personal choice
The same thing could be said about the woman whose feeding tube was taken away. I could never make a decision about her life because I believe it is up to the family, it depends on their circumstances, plus I don't know how well this woman is doing, I don't understand the bond they share or anything.
The same goes for the man that killed his disabled daughter. While I don't believe what he did was right ... I don't think he should have gone to jail
GRRRRR Im so confused and I really want to talk to somebody .... *I'm starting to cry* ... by the way my sister is disabled and has a feeding tube ... but she can take things orally as well
Yea ...
There was a poll taken by CNN whether the Gov should have jumped in and reversed the courts decision ... and the results kinda got tome ... and my mom said ... "thats what scares me"

Human life
terri and her feeding tube
twins
abortion

I will explain what's going through my head later ... Im watching the news

i'm just thinking about how much I missed current events today ... I could have really used that discussion time ... my midn is speeding more so than usual ... Scary eh? ...
On a side note, I've run out of my pannic attack medication ... so I'm guessing I'll have to go to the doctor again ... which I really dont want to do ... hear about how screwed up I am ... trust me I KNOW .... *shrugs* I dont think Im that bad ...

It's amazing the different personalities people have with different people or when they are in a different place. I've been noticing it more and more ... With me I've noticed the way I post on here is nothing like how I talk to my friends, well sometimes it is ... but you get what I mean ... also i've noticed at school that I am different with each of my friends, some I can be more serious with while others I just act like an idiot around. I dunno, I think it's strange
LMAO I think the nurse that is in today thinks I am some sort of wacko ... I'm sitting here typing 90 miles a minute while listening to classical music ... the current piece that I am playing sounds really depressing ... but I love it ...
I love music ... what would I do with out it .... lately I've also realized that I need to get new headphones for my mp3 player ... which I also doubt I could live without ... anyways ... the nurse is out of my room so I can stop pretending like I am doing something productive ....

You can always tell my mood by my music. Lately I have been listening to a lot of classical music ... as well as Broadway stuff ... I've been very lovey dovey and my mind won't stop spinning ... I just wish I had people that I could talk to about everything going on up there ... it's so hard to write about ... hence why I usually just type about how crappy my day was .... or how good is is
Sometimes I feel like I am a negative person ... and then at school ... I feel like I'm overly positive ... I confuse myself
The past while I've been laughing so hard at school that it hurts. My friends are grrrreat and so are a few of the teachers!!! I can't wait until next smester and whatever .... to see what other friendships are to come.... hopefully a special somebody will walk into my life ... somebody I have a chance with

I'm not too sure how I am feeling right now! I mean I'm feeling really upset about Michele but I knew deep down all along .... grrr at me .... I still like her and everything ... but ... I just realize that now there is no chance .... even though there wasn't before ... BLARG ... I wish I could just shut up ...
All I want is to find somebody and be happy

I have a lot of thoughts going through my head right now .... quite a variety of topics .... from what I am feeling right up to politics and shit that is going on ... I could type for hours on end ... but I'm tired ... and I want to cry ... I'll type later on tonight if I have a chance

So yes, I'm feeling kind of low right now. Michele mentioned her husband for the first time ... I mean sure I kind thought she had one ... but .... I always hoped ... *sigh* ... I don't want to talk about it .... I know that nothing would have happened either way ... but it's another slap of reality

I swear ... I'm still feeling the effects of the migraine I had on Friday. I'm paranoid that I'm gonna get another one

Monday, October 20, 2003

My head is starting to hurt ... so I'll post more later on

Sunday, October 19, 2003

I suddenly am feeling at peace ... I've turned on that song that I've fallen in love with ... and this calmness has fallen over me .... except for the fact the nurse is in here yapping ... but I can somewhat tune that out ... I mean I've had to put up with it ever since I was about 9ish ... I wish my mom would get up so she could take me to the mall .... nevermind it doesn't open until 12 or so

Well, my day is already going down the drain!!! My aunt was pissing me off to the point I could hardly stand it, so I came into my room and sat on the computer. I was so angry that I couldn't even think of what to type, hence the plethora of quizzes ... there will probably be more by the end of the day. Then again I do have A LOT of work to do for tomorrow, aswell as running down the street to pick up some of the weekend papers ..... I think there was something else that I needed to get ... OH!!! I need to look for a new purse and pick up some batteries for my electronic organizer


Earth girl
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Morpheus
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Grrrr I can't get to sleep ... *shrugs* ... atleast it's giving me some extra workout time ... in a few weeks my arms should look really good bc for some reason that's where I am focusing *confused face* ....

Saturday, October 18, 2003

I've found a song that abt absolutely amazes me ... Aled Jones' "Vespera"

Plus Michele wasn't at the school, so I was all sad about that.

Yesterday was the day I never want to remember! I went to school for 9am even though my first class wasn't until 2:30pm. See, I had to finish a photography assignment for Monday and it takes just over an hour to develop, then I was going to go home because I was feeling ill (aka cramps). So we started the developing process after asking a few questions (one being the darkroom is locked, what do we do?). So we went into the developing room, turned off the lights and tried to put our film on the reels, after awhile it went BUT not after we noticed that ther was a teeny bit of light pouring in from the ceiling. So yea, we developed only to realize that, "crap we have to do it again bc our negs didn't come out". So we run around finishing up everything so we had some time to do it again, plus now we had to take out a camera. We did it again and the same damn thing happened (gggrrrr). Emily and I then ran to room V10 and rolled 5 ROLLS OF FILM, ran back to B17 and got Theresa so we could shoot 5 rolls an develope them (this would be our last chance, so we thought why not shoot a shitload of film, we even skipped a class). So we developed them ... they aren't perfect but they'll do. So yea, bc we were in the room with fumes and all that fun stuff ... poorly ventelated and for an entire day .... I got a migrane ... one of the worst I've ever had and I'm currently trying to make sure it doesn't come backs cause I can feel the after effects.

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Wow I posted a lot today ... tells you how much my midn is working
I have the house to myself tonight, atleast until 2am, and of course I'm not feeling 100% *shrugs* Oh well .... I've been doing a lot of thinking and making progress on a few things so I'm happy
By the way, please post a message in my guestbookish area ...

Wow I posted a lot today ... tells you how much my midn is working
I have the house to myself tonight, atleast until 2am, and of course I'm not feeling 100% *shrugs* Oh well .... I've been doing a lot of thinking and making progress on a few things so I'm happy
By the way, please post a message in my guestbookish area ...

I say I like the simple things in life .... but I got to thinking at one time they were probably complicated thoughts or ... I don't know the word ... things that had to develope and evolve

Musical instruments amaze me ... something man made can convey human emotions better than even spoken word can ... at times

I wish somebody was home or online so I could discuss this show with them. The dresses and sets are absolutely amazing and the music .... oh the music is wonderous

I wish I could talk to Michele right now

oo the british classical music awards are on right now *happy dance*

I just watched an episode of Touched By An Angel and it made me think. People are portrayed as enjoying the simple things in life before they die. They take time to enjoy every little thing around them and in some cases it seems asthough they are seeing these things for the first time, despite the fact they are always around. Then I thought about people I have known that passed on or were extremely ill and realized that they too had this happen to them. They began to notice the world around them and that there are simple pleasures and beauties everywhere. Even during the toughest times there are things there that if you stopped long enough could bring a smile to your face.
People always laugh at me and say I'm corny and I guess in some ways I am. I love the simple things in life and I admit that sometimes I don't take as much time as I should. My mind gets fogged because of everything I see on the news and such, I just see negative images .... when I should be looking deeper. I just wish that everyone could stop and look around.

After two days of mass confusion and an internet overload, I have managed to attatch a guest book and a hit counter! I thought this would add to the look of my blog and also allow feedback through a guestbook style chat area. *shrugs* I might try a few other things, but for now I think it looks pretty cool

I'm really bored at the moment, despite the fact I'm at home

LMAO ... MY FRIENDS SCARE ME

Mullet Mandy

One day Mullet Mandy woke up and decided that she wanted to go shopping for a present. See it was her friend Buck Tooth Betty’s birthday and she wanted to buy her the best present EVER! Mandy realized she only had two days to find this present and quickly set out. She borrowed her mom’s red pickup truck and headed over to the Hicktown mall. When Mandy arrived she couldn’t help but go into her favourite place, Mullet Mania Hair Salon. She was only planning on getting some “Grease” for her hair, until she looked up and saw the most amazing thing. Right there in big black letters it said “ Kentucky waterfall cut ONLY $20 today!”. Mullet Mandy almost passed out but quickly scrambled to find the money in her pocket, she soon found herself in a big chair with a big lobster bib around her neck. Behind her, Willy the hairdresser carefully sculpted the mass of hair on her head.Soon it was all over and Willy revealed Mandy’s brand spankin new haircut. It was absolutely AMAZING, thought Mandy. She soon left the salon in search of Buck Tooth Betty’s present. She headed over to Oil Rigger’s Clothing, but didn’t find anything she liked and kept looking. Soon Mandy found herself rummaging through a box of old rags, the sweet perfume of oil and sweat filled the air, Mandy remembered that Betty already had a bunch of rags though. Just then Mandy turned around to go to another store but up on the wall she saw the most beautiful thing, next to her hair. Mounted on a plaque was a beautiful cod fish and it was marked at $15. Mandy ran to grab the fish and dashed to the cashier, tripping over some car parts that were in the middle of an isle. The cashier rang the fish through, after commenting on Mandy’s hair. “$17 please” said the cashier. Mandy reached into her pocket and realized she spent all the money on her hair, she quickly said she forgot her money and ran to her truck. As Mandy went to her truck her eyes and nose began to run. She wiped her face with her sleeve and sat down to plan how she was gonna get Betty a gift. Mandy headed home in hopes her mom would lend her the money. On the way she passed a truck loaded with fresh road kill and noticed that the driver wasn’t moving. She pulled over to find the driver had died and so she dumped the body into the ditch. When she got back she hitched up the truck to hers and towed it home. “Perfect” Mandy thought as she rushed home to prepare Betty’s present. See, inside of the truck was a rifle and TONS of road kill, a Hicktowner’s favorite food. The next day Mullet Mandy went to Betty’s party and gave her the gift she prepared. Betty was so excited when she opened her gift and told Mandy, “It’s the best present I ever got.” After dessert, raccoon cake, they all ran to play shoot the ducks.

Wednesday, October 15, 2003

ANother strange thing is this dream that I had the other day ... since it is from two days ago I can't really remember it.

We were going shopping at the mall (we being my friends and I) and I decided I needed to sit down. I sat on a bench infront of the lotto booth .... out of nowhere I saw these three people that I used to go to school with, one of whom I liked. For some reason the lotto booth was like a hospital and they were bringing her over bc something happened. They laid her down and the doctor guy lifted her shirt, and one of her friends hit him and said not so high. Then when he was done they left ....
So I decided to go looking for my friends and I stumbled upon these two other people and we all went looking ..... we went outside and were suddenly on a beach (we found them). Then i went on these sandy rocks with one of my good friends and I had to be careful bc it was really high .... suddenly the rocks were submerged under a wave, it was scary. I was the only one that got covered by water though .... yea .. my friend and I then went down onto the beach and were walking through these volleyball courts ... there was a line of guys (identical) jumping REALLY HIGH ... and one spiked a ball ... and I was gonna hit it but another guy did .... so yea ... then we were walking over a bridge in the USA and we saw these ships and they turned and were going to start shooting .
That was my dream

So yea, I was going to post on here about my sunday but I never did. Well Sunday mornign was really hectic and my family was driving me nuts, it got to the point that I went and sat on the balcony reading one of my books (I love reading outside but it was cold). While outside I realized there was this rather large beetleish looking bug, after awhile it didn't move and I was wondering if it was dead. So I decided to move it with a leaf, only because I didn't want to squash it or anything. So when I went to move it I realized that the bug was alive, but dying. One of its legs were miss and the another was all bent back. I sat there trying to read, but my eyes would always come back to this bug. It couldn't move itself, it was just dying, slowly and probably painfully. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to end its misery and kill it, but I knew I couldn't bc I have trouble killing things, even bugs. I just move them to another area and let nature take its course .... so in the end I ended up leaving it there ... and I kinda feel bad

I don't really know how I am feeling right now. Yesterday I was really depressed and by the end of the day I had to have one of my pills to calm me down (aka I felt a pannic attack coming on). Today I'm feeling better, but some dumbass went and got me all upset, a girl almost told him off because it was totally uncalled for. *shrugs* Atleast I have somebody on my side. I have to see him in my last period :(
I'm still totally head over heels for Michele, I wish there was some way to just get over her .... click my heels three times, wish on a star ... something. Grrrr .... but I like liking her .... she's so amazing .... I wish I could just tell her ... and let it be
Anyways .... I'm in the lab waiting for my next class and I've noticed that many people are feeling down or whatever .... I think it's the weather ... it's always the weather

Saturday, October 11, 2003

I'm so confused right now ... I mean there are a bazillion things running through my head ... and the main thing being ... WHO AM I

On some level ... I am a fraud

Yea ... I'm feeling a bit better

I can hardly hide the pain within myself ... I feel so unappreciated. How could they do that? The only Thanksgiving dinner that I had been part of was had without me ..... I was given a plate of cold food and sat a a partially cleared table with a fly buzzing around my head. But wait .... is my aunt rlly going to sit with me? Sure looks like it .... we don't get along very well but Thanksgiving is a time to put differences behind and get along .... Suddenly the tv is not only turned on ... but placed facing us. My family has been slowly splitting for years now and I've always been the one trying to bring everyone together ... only to get left behind .... I didn't even decorate this year ... I'm the holiday queen .... I always decorate ... How could I not??? .... I practically skipped a holiday that meant a lot to me deep down ... you know all those ideals ... This holiday is from the heart .... it's a peaceful time with sweet scents, cool air and warm fuzzy feelings .... Not this year though .... Instead I am reminded of the rapid decay my family is going through .... it hurts .... It hurts sooo much .... Everything is torn .... and all I want to do is to fix things .... but whenever I try ... all I end up doing is putting a temporary bandage over the problem .... I try to be happy ... only to trip and fall back into sadness .... Even now the positive side is shining through saying ... it could be worse ... things will change .... keep your chin up .... I listen to that positive side ... but it's hard

I'm feeling really depressed and I can't quite put my finger on why. I'm kinda tired now, so maybe some sleep will do me good .... but for now I feel like crying .... but I can't

I technically just cried, but not a lot ... I was in the car with Nimisha ... she means so much to me ... and I feel bad for crying infront of her

Friday, October 10, 2003

So yes ... i can't stop singing broadway songs at the moment ... it's rather entertaining

I love children's books ... they are such a great escape ... I mean ... you can totally be transported into a different world ... well ... that's not true for some people .... ever notice how now days people don't seem to have any imagination ... there is no balance in there life ... I think we all need to have an inner child ... I lost my train of thought ... and my arm is hurting ... I will write more later
Did I say I like Michele?

Ok ... I am totally way too obsessed about Michele ... and the thing is I know I have no chance ... it kinda hurts when I think about it ....

On a happy note ... 5hrs until I see Erin ... 4hrs till I see Nimisha .... he he he

We are going bowling and then to Isaacs (the Brock pub) ... *shrugs* should be fun ... I can't drink though ... not as if I would anyways ... I can't stand alcohol ... I know ... I'm strange

I am so bored ... I am so bored
Yes I know ... it seems like I only come on here when I'm bored. I say I'm bored but really Im not ... Im happy just sitting around doing nothing ... especially on a day like today ... I mean it's only 11am and already I am having the greatest day
I saw a few friends of mine at the bus stop ... I went to class with somebody I like .... erin comes home tonight .... im going out with friends ...

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

So yes once again I am sitting in the open access lab ... bored out of my mind .... my aunt spilt water in the car and forgot to tell me before I sat down ... so my ass is wet and I'm terrified to walk down the freaking hallway ... blah ... I can tell it is going to be one of those days ... where I wish I hadn't woken up
Oh well ... I guess all I can do is make the best of it *shrugs*

Monday, October 06, 2003

So the next thing on my list of things to complain about is ... *drum roll* ... THE BUS SYSTEM .... I still have another hour until the damn bus comes ... and I am bored out of my mind .... despite the fun I am having by typing to ppl i don't really know on my friends computer ... MUAHA HA HA HA ...
so yes anyways .... there is no bus from 2:40 until 4:40 .... now that is a serious problem .... and an annoyance ... I have to wait over an hour for a damn bus to come and pick me up ... think of how bad it'll be in the winter *shivers just thinking of it*
I'll write more later ... Im tired ... I want to sleep ... i want many things that i cant have though ... DAMN

hmmmm I am bored and forget what I was going to say .... la la la

Tomorrow is Current Events ... I'm soooo excited. I have to finish up my letter to the editor ... I swear I work too hard on impressing the teacher in that class .... she probably has no clue who I am .... well ... I dont think she cares .... *sigh* ... Why do I like people that I know will never like me .... it's as if I am asking to get hurt ... .
*shrugs* ....
So yea ... the weekend was great!!! I hung out with my friends and we had a blast .... LMAO ... at one point though we were walking down the street and I began to think .... my friend was talking about the fact that there were businesses on the same street as poor housing ... and then I was saying how it's strange to see the 2 worlds collide ... and then I thought about it and said ... no I guess it isn't bc it is like that everywhere .... as time progresses ... corporation and such grow and take over small communities .... sometimes for the better ... but sometimes for the worse ... they don't care about what they are doing to the neighborhood .... *shrugs* ... it's strange how the world is going .... everyone expanding and such ..... also look at politics .... THAT is scary /...... nevermind dont look at politics

I am so bored right now

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Wow a woman that looks like this lady I had a crush on just walked in ... thats kinda creepy ... I am now in the Mac Lab ... waiting for class to start ... Im thinking I'll be here for a loooong time ... lmao ... im such a loser ... i always seem to be the first one ready for class ... sigh ... oh well ... just goes to show how much I like class ... which is a rlly scary thought ... just wait though bc in a few weeks i'll be bitching about the workload

I'm gonna post more when Im on break ...

SO yes ... Erin has signed on so that is giving me something else to do ... but she has to study and will probably ditch me in a minute ... Oh well ... I guess that just means that I can type more on here .... just what everyone wants .... *sinsg* I'm so tired and so bored ... nevermind I lied ... BEcka is on now ... so I guess my typing rampage is over ... FOR NOW ... muaha hahahahahha

Don't you hate it when your mind is going so fast that you have a hard time keeping up with it. Seriously, my mind always seems to be spinning ... I can never just have one thing on my mind ... instead I have to be thinking about a bazillion different things ...
Lately the thing that seems to be on my mind the most would be trying to find somebody to fall for. I feel so lonely sometimes ... as you can probably tell by the the stupid things that I have been posting .... currently I'm pretty much just trying to keep busy until I have class ... it's fun to just sit and type everything that pops into my head ... well ... not everything bc as I said it would be impossible bc I have so much crap up there.
Ok seriously the sound of this lab is so cool .... I mean some people can type so fast and it just sounds like rain ... I for one am not the quickest typer on earth but I ca get by .. especially when Im just rambling on ... I mean ... I fyou give me a page of stuff to type up it would take me ages ... Im guessing thats the same for most people .. oh well ... lol .. Im trying to show off by looking up at the clock while I type really fast ...
sad I know ... but it's the truth ... I have to amuze myself in anyway that I can write now ... otherwise extreme boredom will take over and ... well ... I'll be bored .. mumble ... mumble .. mumble ...

Yet another day of nothingness! I woke up this morning and started puttering around because I had no clue what to do ... I mean of course I could have worked on my homework but what fun is that? I had a shower then sat around ... time seemed to move so quickly bc suddenly it was time to get dressed and go to the chiropractor, then school (where I currently am). I dunno, for the past couple days I've been feeling kinda down. Yesterday I had to leave my english grammar class bc I could feel a pannic attack approaching ... I waited until break to leave but I think my teacher thought I was lying when I said I was sick. grrrrr that kinda angers me ...
I'm trying to think of what else has happened to me over the past couple of days ... wow I just tried typing without looking at the keyboard and amazingly enough I can do it .... Yay me!!!! LMAO ... umm ... so ya yesterday I had classes *pauses*
OH!!! In current events we talked about euthanasia and it really got my head spinning ... I mean, as the teacher said ... "I'm so deeply conflicted"
I wish we would have brought it up earlier in class bc we probably could have had a better discussion about it .... I mean usually in class we talk about an array of topics ... but it doesn't seem asthough many ppl are interested in debating/talking about things ... I mean I really enjoy that kind of thing ... BAH .. a rlly cute girl just walked into the lab ... she was one of the "ask me" ppl during orientation. She cought my eye then ... but she looks even better when she isn't wearing a bright orange shirt with Ask Me pasted on the back of it .... she reminds me a bit of somebody in Riverdance ... the singer, Katie McMahon .... awwww ... I don't think she is feeling well ... she was coughing and now she's holding her forehead .... So yes ... as you can see I am a freak .... I tend to talk about people when I like them ... I guess I'm kinda shallow in a way bc I dont really know her personality ... Well she has to be nice bc she was a helper person .... anc she was the only one picking up everyones garbage at the school's concert ....
OK ENOUGH OF THAT ... mind you if you like hearing me talk about people I like ... just ask me about my one teacher ... I could go on for hours ... maybe even days ... I seriously have no life ... I hate the fact that I always seem to fall for ppl that I have no chance with ...
LMAO ... and just as I said that another cute girl walked into my life ...lmao ... I am pathetic