Man ... these past couple of days have been really interesting .. I mean speak of emotional rollercoasters ... I think I hold the record for the lowest and highest points in a small time frame ... I swear I am insane ... maybe it is time to take my pills again ... I mean ... I can feel that feeling ... and I hate it .... today during philosophy I felt the feeling I felt b4 I had my pills ... and the first night I had them ... where my brain just wont stop ... it is constantly processing various things ... and never really getting anywhere ....
I know I complain on here a lot ... and write about idiotic things ... but I hope you all realize that isnt all I am ... that I do have a mind ... and do keep things locked inside of me ... something I think everyone is guilty of .... I think about things that Im guessing many people would be surprised of .... I have theories about different things ... but I dont tell them to anyone ... I fear they wont uinderstand ... or that they will laugh at me ... they being the general public ... blah .... I have so much fear and .... well ... I dont think of myself very well ... I think that is something I have to work on ... I mean ... last night I was freaking out about the way my friends percieve me ...
I mean a lot of shit has been going on .. and I really dont know who to believe ... its at the point that i dont want to listen ... bc if one person is telling the truth and the other is lying or if they are both lying I will be extremely upset ... aka it is a lose lose situation ... and apparently Im upset bc I realize that they both cant be telling the truth ... blah ...
I hate being here alone ... I have another 2 hours of nothingness and it is driving me batty ... I just want to eat, go home and sleep .... possibly go to Walmart and pick up some things ... but I know I cant do anything until my osap comes in ... which wont be until friday or later .... blah ... now im hungry