After a long leave of absence I am finally back and ready to post. A lot of shit has been happening to me, so much that I'm not even going to try to tell you all of it .... but I will talk about a few things.
Firstly my cousin left on thursday, basically that means on less thing adding to my stress. Don't get me wrong though .... it doesn't mean I'm stress free .... by any means.
My aunt is still here and driving me nuts, as usual. She comments about everything I do and never has anything positive to say, she constantly crowds me and rearranges my stuff .... As it is, I have hardly any privacy and now she has invaded the last lil bit.
My father called last night and told me he had $150 and some presents for me ... and he'd love to take me to Harveys for dinner. I've been contimplating talking to my father lately so this seemed to be a good chance .... until my aunt piped up .... "he owes you WAY more than that" .... Don't say anything about me .... don't talk about your mom .... try to get him to buy you stuff .... blah blah blah .... Mom just said to not tell him a lot ... *shrugs* .... All those rules, how was I supposed to keep them all in mind .... so I kinda freaked and was beginning to chicken out .... then I get home (after one hell of a car ride) and receive a message "hi Gill this is dad, the guys at work were playing a prank on me so I cant give you money until next week ... but I'll call you" .... Do you have any idea how much that hurt. I keep falling for it .... he says he'll call or schedule time to see eachother and then backs out .... he always ditches me .... or doesnt do what he says .... it hurts ... it hurts me so much .... and right now ... I cant handle that .... for some reason I've been getting myself upset about the stupidest things ... and my nerves are shot ....

A good thing .... I ate "breakfast" today with a friend .... it was the calmest I've been in a while and I want to thank her .... I was able to break a lil out of my shell and talk .... I mean ... I even ordered something that included answering questions .... bacon, scrambled eggs and brown bread .... lol ... it was a big deal for me ....
Anyways, I want to let this person know that they mean a lot to me and that if they ever need anything ... to come to me .... never be afraid .... Also .... I'd give them a hug .... but yea ....