I hate depression ... You think that I'd get used to it ... but I don't ... the feelings hurt so much ... I just want to cry ... but being the person that I am ... I won't allow myself to ... I hate it ... I can't breathe ... I feel like I am trapped in a box ... laying on a bed of nails ... it hurts so much ... I try to stay positive and it's so hard when I'm like this ... I hate fighting ... but I keep doing it ... I have to battle out these ... spells if you want to call them that ... I called mom and asked her to take me for a drive ... she knows what that means ... I just wish I could type what I'm feeling and what is going on inside of me .... I wish I could help you to understand more ... but I can't ... blah .... if you saw me right now you'd thinking what the hell is wrong with her ... I'm seriously straining to type and breathe ... and fighting to hold back tears bc there are ppl in the room next to me ...
Anyways ... I have to get dressed to go in the car ... I'll probably be fine in a bit ... y'all have read my posts and can somewhat see the pattern ...