What do you do when you realize that you cannot help somebody .... when you see them slipping backwards .... instead of moving forwards .... I love my family .... but my aunt and cousin obviously need psychiatric help ... I don't know how to explain it other than they are screwed up .... I don't understand how they turned out the way they are ... and yet I am still somewhat normal ... I grew up at there house, aswell as mine .... atleast they only had to live in one household that was screwed up .... I lived in two .... I don't understand it .... I don't get it .... fuck now I'm bawling my eyes out .... I knew this would happen when they came here .... I knew it would open old wounds .... and I knew I couldn't handle it .... I hate the past and I hate what it has done to them .... they are so twisted and scarred ..... they aren't themselves .... Fuck ... I cant even explain .... I've never been able to spit everything out ... only bits and peices .... Im afraid .... I hate what has happened ... I hate it .... I don't understand how human beings can be so cruel .... I can't understand how .... ugh ... I just don't get things .... Im sorry if this doesnt make sense ... but Im crying and everything .... I'll try to type it later .... but I know it wont come out any better .... it never has .... its locked away in my mind .... eating away at my sanity ....