I feel so lost right now ... I haven't had my computer for basically a week and I feel so lost ... I'm reading through everyone's posts and I'm confused out of my mind ... the internet is how I communicated with people ... so for awhile I didn't talk to anyone that didn't call me ... and that gotr me to thinking ... howcome nobody called to check how I was doing ... I mean I am usually online 24 hours a day ... and I haven't been on for a week ... didn't people notice ... didn't people worry ... *shrugs* .... I'm in a ranting mood bc I have myself really depressed again ... I don't really know why ... I mean .. I have an idea ... but ... whatever ... my family is in chaos ... Dar and Jackie need help but won't seek it (I was supposed to fly out there but it was cancelled) ... MOm is in depression and the doctor says she's ready for menopause .... my friends each have their own problems ... some of which I may add are pretty major .... the car keeps acting up despite the car ppl say it's fine ... my head is spinning .... AND I feel lonely again .... I'm in that phase where I'm searching desperately .... but coming up with nothing .... *shrugs* ... I could keep going ... but it isn't worth it .... especially since I am kind of happy .... My brain is on overload ... SO I will post more later on when I have a chance to sit ... I have a lot on my mind .... and I need to rest in order to type it ALL up