I was going to post earlier but for the past hour I've been glued to my balcony, watching a storm rage by. There was a constant stream of warnings running across the tv screen, but of course I paid no attention and ran outside to sit and record everything. The lightning was amazing and it was even more beautiful because every so often somebody would lite off a firecracker and the entire sky would glow that colour (bc of the cloud density) .... so yes .... in short, I lost track of time.

The past week has been pretty insane because there are a variety of things going on in my life. I must point out last weekend though, before I forget. As usual my friends got together, but this time we went to my friend, Bethany's house and ended up discussing random things. You name it, we talked about it. I loved it so much! I love talking to people about important (and not so important) topics/issues. It was funny because at times we struggled to get a word in (I mean it was 6 women) but for some odd reason, whenever I spoke, everyone would stop and listen. I felt ... I can't explain how that made me feel. They kept saying that I had good ideas and questioning me further. For once I wasn't worried about sounding like a complete asshole ... It felt good to get some things off of my chest and at the same time, I liked having that ability to stimulate my brain in other ways.

Dar and Jackie are going through hell still and it is driving mom and I batty. I know they need help, but you cannot help people that don't realize they need it. Last week Jackie phoned us crying bc her and her mother got into yet another fight. Mom asked Jackie if she wanted me to come down and Jackie answered yes, so I went and told everyone that I was going. I found my ticket but was just waiting until the morning before I ordered it. Dar found out though and called mom, ordering her not to let me go out there, it pissed me off bc I talked to Dar, and at first she said no bc she didnt want me losing my job, but then said yes when I told her I was quitting. I hate being lied too and I hate having to go and tell all of my friends and people I bump into that I am in fact not going away ... instead I am staying here. I can't help them from here anymore. I hope they come back soon ... before it is too late. Jackie is ruining her body .... and Dar is ruining their minds

The other day mom took me for a drive to Niagara Falls. I totally went through system overload. My senses were heightened to the point I was shaking with excitement. We drove passed the new casino and I almost died, it is so beautiful, despite that it is dangerous (everyone knows you can't build on that hill), the four towers change color and the front entry has an amazing fountain (wasnt finished). We drove down the hill and I couldn't believe the amount of people. It was like the olden days, before the casino and before the decline (and then increase)in tourists. The only thing that had changed was the way it looked, so many flashing lights and strange sounds. It smelt like a carnival ... I wished so badly there was one in town, so I could go with my friends.

Oh I have so much more to type about, but I want to go back outside and watch the storm. I think round 2 is coming