It's so hard to stay positive. Sometimes I make myself sick.
Mom is going through a deep depression. Thank god I didn't go out to Newfoundland because it looks like I am needed at my own home. She flipped out yesterday and said some things she shouldn't have ... especially infront of my friend Erin. I don't care if she blows up at me or around me, but when my friend is close I can't stand that. She did it again today too. Yelled for me and my friends to get out because she didn't feel well and then freaked out about finding a phone number ... then I had the phone thrown AT me and a door slammed in my face. Then I turned around and put on the mask for my friends .... when all I really wanted to do was cry.
Oh yea ... I just wanted to say that yes I quit my "job". Basically I was doing too much not to get paid and it wasn't fun (yea jump on that word if you want but I dont feel like writing out a long explanation). Anyways, I quit and I thought I was going to Newfoundland ... so that gave me a reason. Now that Im not going, I feel like an idiot ... even further so bc I'm missing out on that cottage trip with my friends ... and of course everyone will be gone having fun ... and I will be left alone in this place.
*SHAKES FIST* I HATE BEING UPSET .... GIVE ME MORE DRUGS ....