Within the 4 hours I've been awake I felt felt every emotion. First I was angry, then sad and then content.
This morning I was told (again by Dar) that I was fat and that I should get out more so that I'll look pretty. I got really upset and went into the bathroom, where I stared at my reflection .... and I saw an ugly creature starring right back.
Next I went to the doctors to get a refill on my meds and a refferral to a psychiatrist. I wasn't really pleased with his handling of me and what not ... but I got my way. Anyways, on the way home Dar drove past my old house (the one I dream about atleast 4 days a week) and I've done that soooo many times. Today was different, a woman and cat were sitting on the front porch .... she waved and I waved back. As we passed I said, "that's my old house" ... it was like I was yelling to that lady. Right after that I broke into tears (I'm doing it again) ... I've never seen people at it ... and Dar started saying how one day I can have it back and yata yata yata ... I felt like such a child ... I wanted to go ask that woman if I could see it ... if it was how I remember and if my name was still etched in the bricks .... I want my old life back !!!!!!!!!!! ... I want money, happiness, sanity, privacy .... I miss it all ....
Finally as my eyes were still watering ... we stopeed at a red light .... and a little boy was with his mom ... he smiled at me and began to wave ... I can't even relay what I felt ... but that little boy made me feel a lot better ... such an innocent face ... looking at me ... and when I smiled and waved back ... he started to giggle and wave more ....