Merry Christmas!!!

Why do I get depressed every Christmas? Leading up to it Im hyper and happy as hell and then it comes and I am depressed ... but by night time I am fine again ... *shrugs*
The day is half over ... only my aunt Judy, uncle Jim and Judy's sister and mother came to eat with gram, mom, Jen and I ... I hate this ... I want my family together ... and you can see grams wants that too ... there used to be so many of us ... the adult table and the children's table ... What happened? ... During dinner I had to list to my aunt Judy talk about Walmart, my uncle Jim bash gays and just some other piddly conversations that make me want to scream ... such ignorance ... AND THEN ... the discussion of living space came up ... *shakes head* ... Jim said Judy and him had no room for something like a christmas village ... despite they have 3 floors, 2 guest bedrooms and a bunch of other fancy shmancy stuff ... and it is only the two of them ... While my mother pointed out her, Jen and I live in a 2 bedroom apartment ... that Dar and Jackie were living with us for a couple months and that we also have nurses coming in and out ... *shakes head* ... why ... why can't they just all be happy ... not make idiotic comments and bicker ... some other things were said that hurt ... but whatever ...

THEN ... I looked at my sister ... with a big smile on her face ... bits of lunch on her bib that mom was taking off ... and her eyes wider than anything ... I love my sister ... and seeing her ... makes me happy ...

Oh yea ... I'm still on a high from last nights discussion with a certain somebody ... *dreamy sigh* ... I'm so happy right now