Oh, how I love having fights with parents ... and even better is I've been doing it all my life ... I can really hold my ground ... like with my father ... near the end it didn't matter if he hit me as hard as he could ... I'd stare him in the eye and scream at him until he gave up and left the room ...
Now mom ... I've never really had any major fights with her, but right now everyday seems to be a new struggle. I try to help by doing something and all she does is treat me like dirt. I ask her to take me in the car (as we all know that means I am stressed and I NEED to get in the car and drive) ... and she turns around and decides to go over to Errol's place. The boyfriend I have met all of twice (in 2 or 3 years) ... the man that when he sees me doesn't know who I am ... Doesn't aknowledge my sister and I ... I'm surprised she didn't call up her friends and go out with them ... or something else so that she doesn't have to be here at home ... Does she want away from her life that badly? I know it isn't heaven ... that we have scars from the past ... and some wounds that we are trying to heal ... but doesn't she see anything? Can't she see life? I don't understand ... I'm crying now ... I'm crying because things are just flooding into my mind ... all the things she has been saying ... the cold looks she gives me when I speak ... This is our life ... look around ... stop ignoring it!!!!!!!! ... we aren't what we used to be ... We are poor ... We are looked down upon ... We have to fight to recieve basic needs ... and guess what ... There are people that have it harder ... and GEEZ ... family ... I don't think I understand the term ... I think I am trying to grasp onto a concept that I don't really know ... Ah my friends ... look at me ... here I go again ... getting upset ... nowonder Im alone ... who could ever put up with this ... I can never be happy ... I let everything bug me ... and then I have a lovely dramatic delivery of the things going on in my mind ... you can all ignore this ... I do ... just watch ... give me a couple hours and I will be fine again ... I always am ... and things will be swept under the rug
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Breaks to grab tea
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See ... I'm already feeling fine again ... I have my Little Women music on ... and I'm reading a responce to a story I posted online *shrugs* ... I love hearing what people think ... but anyways ... Im going to go ... after I clean my room ... I might paint ... I can imagine the canvass now ..
TEARS FLOW
SING SOUL SING
THE BIRD FLIES HIGH
WITH YOU ON ITS WING
KISS THE MOON
LET THE LIGHT SHINE DOWN
NEVER STOP LOOKING UP
YOU WEAR THE CROWN
YOU ARE THE QUEEN
YOU RULE THE LAND
WITH GRACE AND LOVE
TAKE HOLD OF MY HAND
FIGHT THIS BATTLE
WHILE DOVES FLY HIGH
SING SOUL SING
NEVER SAY GOOD BYE
FIGHT TILL THE END
YOU HAVE THE POWER
STRENGTH IS WHAT YOU LACK
WALK FORWARD
NEVER LOOK BACK
STRENGTH IS IN YOUR HEART
DO WHAT YOU MUST DO
YOUR SONG NEEDS TO BE HEARD
YOU OWE IT TO NOBODY BUT YOU
SING SOUL SING