Wowzers! *ducks and covers*
There is some serious fighting going on at my place. I fall asleep watching Finding Nemo and wake up to my cousin and aunt fighting. Dar wants Jackie to go to a doctor about her eating disorder, but Jackie is ver reluctant ... so Dar began yelling at her about how she should have "dropped her a long time ago" because she "can't continue paying medical bills". Of course I wasn't asleep at this point but I was trying to pretend like I was really groggy because Jackie was getting upset that I was hearing this. She didn't think I knew (or noticed) her eating disorder and also didn't want them to be talking about everything infront of me. Little does she know I have a brain and can figure everything out for myself (and then some). I didn't know what to do, so I slowly pretended to wake up and sit in the chair ... then Magda (Polish nurse) called and needed something, saved by the phone!!!!
I don't know what to do. I'm trying to spend more time with Jackie, but it's really hard. I have to guess at what her mood will be like and then I have to watch what I say. I want to help her ... despite all my complaining about them and the way they treat me ... they are my family. My flesh and my blood ... I want to help them ... but I don't know how. Sometimes I just want to scream, I want to release everything that I'm thinking. That would be too harsh though! So I keep my mouth shut. I try to defend Jackie at times when her mother goes nuts and I try to calm Jackie down and point out she asks for too much from her mother ... but they are like bombs ...
After today I'm afraid to be home tonight because I know there will be a lot of yelling ... and they are going to be up here for a few hours while mom attends a union meeting. So if anyone is free and wants to go to a movie or SOMETHING (atleast until 10) ... I am absolutely desperate to get out of here ... It may do them some good to have time alone to talk to eachother. Well I should say yell ... because they can never just discuss something.
Anyways, I have to go now and clear my history because I'm afraid that one of them will come up here wanting to use the computer