Then it happens ... see people ... this is why I sabotage my own happiness ... so that stuff like this ... doesn't tear me apart ... I seriouly want to die more than ever ... I can't handle this ... this is going too far ... please ... anything but this

MY mother has fired all nursing staff and will begin looking for a home on Monday for my sister. SHe has written a letter which states she no longer can provide Jennifer with the care she needs. Ummm ... yea ... you all know how much my sister means to me ... and ... yea ... guys ... IM right on the edge ... I can't lose my sister ... I can't ... I need her with me ... I need to see her little smile everyday ... I need my sister and she needs me ...

I feel like I am dying ... my life is being taken from me ... I cant handle this ... I cant do it ... this is too much ... too much ... I realize now how pathetic I must have sounded before ... I would go through my entire life again to have her stay ... I could be slapped around everyday ... just dont take my sister away from me ...

Im crying now ... I can hardly see the screen ... im gonna go ...