Anyways, I've been thinking about friendships and such a lot ... so when I stumbled upon this quiz I thought ... I'll post it. I actually am not posting the answers because I want to hear from you all first. Post your responses and I will do the same for each of you in your blogs and journals (if you want me to lol). If you don't have one, email me your answers and I will respond

Questions about your friendships
General
1. How many close friends do you have
2. Where are your friends from
3. Do you have any best friends
4. Do you have anyone that is more than a friend
5. Who do you hang out with the most
6. What do you like to do with friends
7. What does the word "friend" mean to you
8. What would you do for a friend
9. What kind of friend do you think you are
10. Do you have the same friends from when you were younger
Specific
1. Who is your bestfriend
2. Who do you talk to the most
3. Who is the craziest
4. Who seems to know you best
5. Who did you last talk to on the phone
6. Who did you last hug
7. Who did you last go out with
8. Who (if anyone) do you love
9. Who do you wish you were with right now
10. Who do you think will always be in your life
Most likely to ...
1. Eat a worm for a buck
2. Bungee jump
3. Write an award winning book
4. Get married first
5. Top Canada's most wanted list
6. Fall in love
7. Make you laugh
8. Make you cry
9. Make you think
10. Hug you everytime you see them
Association (put a name beside the word or phrase)
1. Tea
2. Sports
3. Spider
4. Painting
5. Love
6. Hotel
7. Canoe
8. Jungle
9. Never give up
10. Keep it real

Questions about our friendship
1. When did we meet
2. What was your first impression
3. Do you consider me a best friend
4. One thing you want to say to me before you die
5. Name one thing you wish you could give me
6. Would you date me
7. Do you think we could survive a tragic event together
8. What do you think of when you hear my name
9. Name one piece of advice I have given you
10. Name a funny moment we have shared

Well it's 9:48 and I woke up about 30 minutes ago.
Seems that I am in yet another good mood. I'm listening to classical music and I have my window wide open. I believe today I'm going to a bunch of different plant and garden furniture stores so I can begin to price items. Yesterday we went to Sunshine Gardens and I bought grandma a tiny rose bush. She seemed really excited that I bought her something out of the blue. I enjoy seeing her smile like that. There's something in her aged eyes, I think they get more life in them. Anyways, I also couldn't help but buy 3 other plants. Two chocolate peppermints, because I adore the smell ... and I also bought a pink gerbera daisy. Today I want to buy a bucket to put it in. I love gerbera daisies ... I'd love to just fill a room with them ... ooo and orchids. *dreamy sigh* I really do love plants. Have you ever just taken the time to look at all the curves and colours of a vine ... look at the patterns its veins form? The other day I went to the greenhouse and was looking at their Easter display. They had a cross formation of white lilies. It was beautiful! I have a few pictures I'll post at the end of this. Which will be soon because I have to get dressed.
Before you look at these remember that I took these pictures with my simple point and shoot camera. Imagine all the details I'm missing. One day I'll own a semi pro camera and then I'll become rich and spend thousands on some hi tech amazing piece of art .. lol ... okay ... here they are

Firstly this one is of a lily ... look at how beautiful it is ...


This is a picture I took basically laying on the ground of the greenhouse. A lot of people were staring at me ... but whatever

Work kicked ass today!!! Despite it wasn't the cool crew of people I had some good times. I was really hyper and talkative and everyone was loving it, I turned into the entertainer of the lounge for about 1/2 hr. Then I went downstairs and talked to Bedranna who was covering greeter break ... she went to hit my shoulder but slapped my boob/arm area and we experienced an awkward quiet moment ... then started laughing about something stupid I said in the lounge ... LMAO ... I twisted some chicks words around and said she called this other woman a slut ... LMAO .. that was friggin funny ... then Eilleen and I poured out part of the deodorant wall to finish up the modular ... Gail SHOULD be happy ... OH and food/candy/chemicals is RIGHT across from me now ... it's sad not having the Laurie's there to make fun of ... but today I looked up ... and low and behold ... Roxanne ... *giggles* ... I waved her over and started chatting ... I really need to learn to shut my big mouth ... but whatever ... ooo ooo ... and the cute lady from christmas returned ... hmmm ... what else ... OH!!! I snorted REALLY loudly at the evening meeting and a bunch of people laughed at me ... and when I said "shit that hurt" ... they laughed even harder ... *shakes fist* ... stupid mean people ... OH OH OH ... and there was no receptionist at Pharmacy so the stupid pharmacists were bitchy ... *giggles* ... it was amusing but I missed Lori ... She's back tomorrow ... so I'll have to really bug her ... *shrugs* .. Im in such a great mood I dont feel like stopping ... I just want to keep typing ... and half of it is about work ... lmao like Jenni and I talking and laughing ... I enjoy her company ... She's such a brilliant person ... and she's fucking good at her job ... I wouldn't want to mess with her .. she'd wrestle me to the ground and handcuff me before I could say diddly squat .. lmao ...

I am in a fantabulous mood today!
This weather is infectious, I only hope it stays this way. My day started out a little rough but Andy helped me through that ... So now I'm back to my normal self.
My legs are hurting me today, which sucks because I wanted to do some more walking, but apparently I have to ease myself back into walking all the time. *giggles* No two hour walks for me yet ... Soon enough though we'll be going for our walks every night, so that'll be good.
I was walking through Zehrs today and couldnt help but get excited about doing up my balcony. First I walked in and could smell all of the plants and then I saw a display of palms and ferns *giggles* ... OOOO I cant wait!!! ... I especially cant wait till the end of April when I'll FINALLY be able to see my friends more ... Linz said something the other day about our annual summer getaway YAY!!!!!

I am so happy with my life right now ... and I want to thank a certain somebody ... for pointing out everything I have to be happy for

Im in a better mood now .. lol .. I just needed a good rant I guess

Things just seem to have gotten mixed up again. I don't know what to do anymore. I am reaching out for people that aren't there. All I want is for somebody to give me their shoulder, their time and to not run away from me. Everyone seems to leave me at some point in time. Nobody ever wants to stick with me, not as a friend nor as a lover and even my family has decided to give me a hard time. What is wrong with me? Apparently nothing because when I ask for an answer nobody can give me one. Today I was yelled at again all day and when I asked what I had done ... well I hadn't done anything. Apparently it is fun to take anger out on me. Everyone in my family does it and if I say anything back ... ooooo ... the wrath of them all. Seems yelling at me is the one thing they will do together. It makes me sick. I sometimes wonder why I even try to get my family together. All I want is for them to sit down for a meal ... for the sake of all of us. Especially though for grandma and for the small children. I want that more than anything, but all I get are fights and rumours and people rolling their eyes. I just don't understand. I just want one ... ONE ... meal together. I want them to have a chance to talk, to be happy and to see one another and the changes that have taken place over the years. *Im crying now* ... I was talking to somebody and they left ... and ya know ... whatever ...
I have been feeling like such a fucking fool lately. Wondering how people see me ... I like being the dreamer ... but fuck ... that doesnt mean I dont know what is in the real world. Damnit ... I know ... I have all of my senses ... I AM NOT A FOOL ... I have a brain that I believe works quite well ... I know what is going on around me ... dont use me ... dont talk behind my back ... dont stare ... dont lie ... and fucking treat me with the respect I treat you with ... Im a decent human being from what people tell me ... if you have a problem ... tell me ... GEEZ ...
My family has really stirred me up this time ... why do they pick on me? Why do I continue to try and make things right ... WHY ... I guess I am a fucking fool

Well, it's 8:30 and Im awake ... I've been yelled at endlessly ... called everything and told how useless I am ... and my reply is to stay quiet and just do whatever she asks ... Im glad I got a good sleep last night ... but sad I missed my nightly talk with Andy ... sorry about that hun ...
So yea .. Im being yelled at again .. so here I go ... off to face the day

A) Laura I havent changed it because I am changing my ENTIRE layout
B) Im so tired ... lol ... I woke up early because my friend Sandra said she was going to call at 9, but she hasn't. We are supposed to go shopping because it was PAY DAY

It's so beautiful outside. I'm going to go for a walk or atleast bug Dar to take me out ... I'm still in that mode where I want to be outside or go to historic places. My dreams have been filled with memories and scenes from long times ago ... I've also begun seeing colours again. I look at things and they have colors around them. It doesnt happen all the time ... just sometimes ... I want to know what that is

My walmart dream ...

So the new fish tanks were put in and I was going to go look at them, when suddenly I notice one of the tanks has hardly any water in. So I run and fill it up and the water drains out. I start to freak and tell Holly (who was with me) to fill up a display tank. She was laughing so hard she couldn't fill it ... so I found something to stop the leak and everything was okay.
Next up I go to feed these shrimpy little turtles. Of course all hell breaks loose because they are friggin whack job turtles. They were attacking my hand and got loose then started biting my feet ... and I was freaking out ... and Holly was of course sitting there in hysterics ...
and that was my walmart dream

and to close this weekend of bliss ... a few hours with Andy

Today was fabulous!!!!!
I got up and went to work. Now that may not seem very exciting, but I love work ... especially when I work with the younger group of people. I honestly have such a blast every time we are all together. I've made quite a few good friends there *giggles* Plus there are a couple cuties that are fun to flirt with ;)
So anyways, today was so friggin busy I couldn't believe it. I felt like a chicken with its head cut off. I was in every department helping customers ... and just spinning at times because I was surrounded by customers and couldnt move.
lol ... the highlights were A) Holly was working B) Toukta and the hot dog C) Tammy writing with icing on egss LMAO D) the dykes came in and asked for a heating rub ... and then proceeded to rub my arm ... I pointed to BenGAY and we all began to laugh and E) when I was talking to Wendy up in the lounge .. LMAO she's funny
So Im home now and going to eat and putting something more comfy on ... Oh I checked my email and my old teacher, Michele, emailed me again today. We were talking about being away from school and having this incurable writer's block. At the end of her email she asked if I wanted to go out for coffee with her one day and of course I was thinking ... do you really need to ask. lol ... I used to have such a crush on her and I think you would have had to been blind not to see. She's cute, sweet and EXTREMELY intelligent ... I think what did it for me was when she fell down the stairs and just laughed about it. Then when her and I were talking in her office one day, she admitted that she was mortified after that. he he So now I have to email her back ... I always get nervous.

I had a pretty good day today. I went to Queenston and NOTL for most of the day, then came home and watched movies. My head is hurting right now, so I'm going to try to go to sleep ... I work tomorrow until 6:30 and then I don't know what I'll do. I have a ton of pics I need to put on the computer too ... anyways goodnight

*tear* It wasn't the usual Friday night crew, so that totally sucked! I did however do a bit of flirting with one of the girls that works near me. She's so friggin hot! Seriously, y'all should come and meet her.
OH and Eilleen ended up driving me home ... lmao ... she said the word fag today and then looked at me and started apologizing like mad. She thought I was going to slaughter her.
So Im crossing my fingers that the Sunday crew is there ... which is the Friday crew too. LMAO

Today was simply beautiful. I went for a drive and took a look at a couple of the garden centres around here. You guys dont understand ... I was in heaven. I love plants ... I love being surrounded by them ... breathing in their sweet scents. This year I have decided to plant "chocolate mint" and "Miss Moon" plants in my garden ... I wish it was spring ... I want to get my balcony ready ... especially since I can chip in for it now too ... *EEEEEHEEEEEE* ... Ill type more later Im actually feeling tired tonight

Well yet another day has come and gone ... but let me just say I had a fucking blast living it! I didn't do much during the day but I was content. Then I went to the casino for a St.Paddy's day concert. It all started off with the Alexander Keith guy coming out talking about his favorite brew ... then showing us what was under his kilt (a package wrapped in green). The Celtic Tenors followed and were joined by the lead soprano of Lord Of The Dance who had just come in from Ireland. Finally it was time for Spirit of the West and by this point the drink was kick'n in and I didn't have a drink for the next "sociable" call. Well I sang, hooted and hollered through the whole thing ... when it was all over, I returned home. My family was shooken up over events from earlier in the day so we didnt make a trip out to a pub. I sorta miss going up to Failtes ... So when I got home I called up Andy and talked to her for a bit.
Tomorrow I have a busy day. I wake up, get dressed and then I'm shuttled off to a doctors appointment ... Grams and mom are going to visit Nicolette while I'm at the doctors. Apparently she has made us something. Nicolette is that old Italian woman I talked about earlier in the year. The one that literally said "MA MA MIA SHE A BIGGA GIRRRL. Gloria she comma from you?" ... *giggles* ... She's so cute and I love her house. When you enter the door it is like being transported back in time (not like I've ever been transported back in time ... but you know what I meant). AFTER all of that I will eat, chat online and then head off to work and flirt the night away. *dreamy sigh* I love the Friday noght crew and the few people I flirt with. I need to find something to occupy my mind ... Mind you I'd be lying if I said there wasn't one person I could single out *giggles* and I'm hoping that certain person will drive me home ... After work I come back home. Jen won't be here nor will my family ... so I'm pretty excited. I wanted to ask somebody over ... but I guess I'll just enjoy the silence while I can *shrugs* ...

My fingers have fallen victim to my over active mind. This must be the umpteenth post or email that i have written today and whether or not I will post it, I couldn't tell you now. I've just been typing and typing all sorts of things. Too afraid to post them, for fear of what people will think of me and that brings me to this ...
I wonder why I have let myself become so fearful and sad, when I was once the stone, the solid rock that you could not draw blood or tears from. Suddenly I have become a sponge that seems to be wrung constantly. How could I have let this happen to me? ...
Also I noticed the other day, when I was speaking to a friend, that I believe in everyone else more than I believe in myself. I believe in so many different things, things that are not tangable. SO why is it that I cannot believe in my own damn self?I see my reflection and I feel pain, I am built from the same basic manual as any other human. SO why is it that I give everyone else more credit than I give myself? I love how I can't point out these problems but I don't seem to be able to answer the questions I am asking myself. There is something blocking that one area of my brain. The part where it says you can love yourself, where it says that you are a beautiful person and the part where it says don't worry about them.
While I don't believe in myself, other people do. They prove it to me everyday by just taking the time to post a reply, call me, email me, think of me ... to just be there for me. I thank everyone!

You all think of me as some gentle giant. You would laugh to see me now. I'm in one of my calm moods ... where I feel pain ... but I am okay with it ... I cry for what I see as no reason ... but I am picking up energy from my surroundings ... I want to discuss the ins and outs of life while everyone is shuffling off to bed ... I don't believe I will sleep tonight ... and when I do I think I will be in a place of extreme thought ... ha ha ... I sound crazy ... dont I?

A) I have discovered that I have a few different fantasies and a secret (not now) want to be dominated .... Is that normal?
B) People that have good singing voices, turn me on!!!!
C)On a totally different note
Today's lunch-room discussion (at work) was of the little boy (14) that died in a snowmobile accident. 1 week prior he signed a card to donate his organs and one moment before the accident a woman told him to wait a minute for her to grab a helmet. Amazing isn't it? The events .... His organs saved 7 different people. *shakes head* This boys body and memory live on and has not only saved many lives but in turn has eased his family's grief. Anyone have any thoughts? I mean I could talk for hours ... but I want some feedback

*sigh* nobody filled this in for me last time
1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. What was your first impression?
5. Do you still think that way about me now?
6. What do you think my weakness is?
7. Do you think I'll get married?
8. What makes me happy?
9. What makes me sad?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Do you think I could kill someone?
15. Describe me in one word:
16. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
17. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
18. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?

GEEZ FRIGGIN LOUISE ... this toy that we have from when I was little is worth over $100 and we still have the box AND the trick or treat bag that came with it ... three cheers for BLOBKIN!!!!!

Anyways I forgot to post my news ... I found out today that if my department manager, Gail, retires Roxanne will take her spot!!!
Roxanne is awesome and I'm guessing she would make a better department manager because I'm sure she is more organized than Gail, plus she's fun to talk to ... especially when I'm upstairs at work looking for a good conversation. I can't stand the way some of the people talk sometimes *shrugs*
I didn't do much today because I had to watch Jennifer. Mom picked up some paint and canvass, so I painted for a bit and then I talked to Andy for a while. I'm hoping that her and I will be able to go out soon ... I like spending time with her. Now if only I wouldnt get so uptight and shy when I see her. *shakes fist at self*

I have learned a lesson ... never yell at somebody in a post because the wrong people think it's about them ... so sorry ... but that wasnt directed at any of you ... *nods* ... sorry again

purpleinhereyes Look out for the

m HOLE

Username:

From Go-Quiz.com

Stop trying to fool yourself. You do not, nor will you ever care for me.

Today was rather calming. I watched Jen, did some painting, went out for a bit and did some thinking ... lol ... I love curling up beside my window listening to my calming music. Just taking in everything around me.
Last night when mom and I went out, I forgot to tell you all what happened. We went for a drive along a bunch of back roads through Fonthill, Thorold, Ridgeville and Niagara Falls. We passed some beautiful homes ... and I felt this pull. I felt pulled to another time period, actually a couple different ones ...

Tonight was terrible ... I lost $30 at the casino after being up $20 ... I kept saying "Oh I'll stop when I hit this number" ... and then when I realized what I was doing I freaked out and we left the casino. It wasn't the fact I had lost the money, I mean yea that sucks but I was having fun and whatever. I saw my dad in me and that really really really scared me ... I saw him gambling the cash away ... I saw him not being able to stop ... so before I lost $50 I stopped ... to prove that I wasnt going to lose it all ... Stupid eh

AM I annoying?

I was really hoping to go out for a drink tonight, but it doesn't look like that is going to happen. I guess I should be used to it though. For the past while I've hardly gotten out of the house, nevermind getting out with a group of my girls.
I just wish somebody would call or message me and ask me to do something. I mean I always ask people if they want to go out, but nothing. Everyone is always busy or too tired. *shrugs*

Nothing really interesting has happened to me lately. I've basically been going to work, sulking around my house, feeding ducks or talking to Andy. *giggles* (I hope you're happy I even included your name)
I'm trying to think of something interesting to say, but nothing is popping into my head. Like I say, nothing has happened that would stimulate my brain ... atleast nothing I can post about (LMAO). ANYWAYS ... I've decided that I am going to start doing some more work with Petunia the Pylon. That's right! My creative juices are flowing and I need to put them to work, so I am doing a TON of stuff with everyone's favorite pylon. It's rather amusing right now because I have an army of pylons with arms spread out on my floor. My next task is to create the faces. I have 4 expressions so far ... I'm pretty excited about this! Despite everyone may begin to fear my insanity because I am going so far with this character ... What am I saying, as if people dont already fear my insanity.

Tim Burton kicks ass!

I feel a bit better *shrugs* ... I went to work and the people there kinda picked me up. Mind you I spent most of my shift wandering like a zombie. lmao. There was one instance where I woman had me searching for freezer bags ... Now how the fuck was I supposed to know they were in the middle of FURNITURE?!?!?! ... After asking 6 people, somebody finally told me where they were. I had myself so frusterated!!!!

I just had a dream ... a little kid asked ... where are we going backwards when we are going forwards?

I'm crying ... I'm such a fool. I think Im making progress and look what happens. You know I was actually beginning to feel good about myself. I was beginning to believe that I'm not such a bad person, that maybe what people say to me is the truth. But again I see that I am not what people believe I am. I am a fool, I am no one. You guys are stupid to think anything of me and you are right to walk away from me or step back. Ha ha ha ... you know when I last went out? When Erin was here. She probably can only stand me because she doesnt hear from me for months on end. I seem to be losing all those people I hold dear. I seemed to have finally cut myself off ... I have a few more threads though. I think I am quite capable of getting rid of those. Yes ... you're right. I think I have finally snapped. Honestly I can't believe it hasnt happened yet. ha ha ha ... hey I mean those therapists thought that I should have killed myself off by now ... but noooo ... I keep fighting ... even now ... im fighting ... i can feel that fucking positive side of me shining through ... y'all have heard what it has to say ... you read it every day .... my poor excuse of a brain .... if you could only see me now .... see the red on my arms from my new addiction ... see my swollen eyes .... watch my chest fight as I breathe. Mom asked me to go to the doctor with her ... I said okay ... but now I dont want to go ... Im too tired ... I would rather sit here and sulk .... feel my body fall victim to this virus ...

Anyways ... Im slowly drawing myself out of this fucked of state .... so Im going to go ... im not going to delete this though ... because I want you to see me ... i want you to see what goes on

Welcome to Depression!
The population here is substantial, but you won't find that anyone is like anyone else. Here in Depression we are all unique! People of all ages, sizes and backgrounds reside here, some were even born and raised right within Depression's borders.
Ah yes ... Depression is a town of growth. We always have people coming and going because Depression has something to offer to everyone! There are so many things to do here from having a few pints at the bar, to seeing a tear jerking performance at the Great Hall, some people even enjoy just sitting in their homes. There are many people that never seem to come out of their homes, they usually move right away though.
Yes, Depression has many things to offer! Our most well known attraction though, is The Sea Of Grey. The largest cemetery in all of the world! Many people come to depression and spend many nights inside The Grey's stone walls.
If depression sounds like a place that you would like to visit call your nearest clinic!

I wish ... oh I wish ... that my princess would come and take me away ...

*shakes head*
Somedays it's so hard to live in this house and keep myself together.A lot has happened the past couple of days and even more has been said. What makes things worse is that I am sick, so if my thought process wasn't already overloaded, my head is cloudy and congested.
Jen is very ill, but I'm crossing my fingers that she doesnt need to go to the hospital. I don't think my family would be able to handle that right now. There is just too much termoil in this place and could you blame me for wanting to escape from it? I feel horrible for saying that, but as the days go past I feel myself longing to be free, to move out on my own. I know I can't afford it, but it's a nice thought. Plus I dont know if I could leave my family. They need me here, more than ever ... *shrugs* ...
Last night I was on the verge of going to a hotel. My sisters crying, my over-thinking, mother's coughing and the silence that I craved. *shakes head* I'm going to go check on Jen. I may write more later on

It is 2:58 am ... my sister cannot stop crying. She has been suctioned numerous times but cannot get comfortable ... she cries ... and cries ... she gets even more congested ... and then needs to be suctioned again ... as you can tell I am half asleep typping this ... just as I was talking to jen a lil while ago , I kept falling in and out of sleep .... yea .... this is hard ...

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it:
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. What was your first impression?
5. Do you still think that way about me now?
6. What do you think my weakness is?
7. Do you think I'll get married?
8. What makes me happy?
9. What makes me sad?
10. What reminds you of me?
11. If you could give me anything what would it be?
12. How well do you know me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Do you think I could kill someone?
15. Describe me in one word:
16. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
17. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
18. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?

My chest hurts more than ever and I can hardly breathe without coughing. I can't believe this isn't going away! This feels horrible, I hate being weak ... I hate it!

SIMPLE QUESTIONS:

1.What time is it? 10:17
2.What is your name? Gillian Elizabeth Reid Barclay
3.What is your birthday? July 3, 1985
4.How many sibs do you have? 1
5.What are your sibs names? Jennifer
6.Do you have a job? Yes
7.If yes, where? Wal-mart baby!!!!
8.If no to #6, Where do you wanna work?
9.Do you have a car? Nope
10.What kinda car do you have/want? I want one that I could drive with my mind twilight zone music
FAVORITE QUESTIONS:
11.Movie: The Wizard of Oz, Tipping The Velvet, The Color Purple, Little Women, Sister Act giggles … I dunno I like a ton of movies
12.Song: Somewhere Over the Rainbow- Judy Garland, Orchard House- Thomas Newman, that Greek one … and a bunch of other ones that I cant think of … but you probably already know
13.Band: Chicago, The Killers, Bond, Spirit of the West,
14.Group: Okay apparently I screwed up the last question
15.Singer: Judy Garland, Louis Armstrong, Norah Jones, Alicia Keys, Alanis, Cher, Melissa Ethridge, Josh Groban .. Shall I continue?
16.TV Show: Third Watch, Amazing Race, Simpsons, All My Children, Coronation Street … stuff
17.TV Channel: A&E
18.Actor: Johny Depp
19.Actress: Julia Roberts, Sandra bullock
20.Comic: Ellen, Robin Williams, GEORGE CARLIN ROTFLMAO
21.Magazine: not the ones in my department … lol …
22.Food: Chicken and SUGAR!!!!!
23.Snack: Regular ruffles and helluva good dip or M&Ms in popcorn
24.Drink: Smirnoff, cranberry juice (white especially), gingerale …. stuff
25.CD-ROM Game: Ages of the Empire or Zeus
26.Board Game: MONOPOLY!!!!!!
27.Card Game: Pick up 52!!! Especially when I don’t have to pick up
28.Kid Game: hide and seek at night … well … at midnight in some strange park … LMAO
29.Number: 3!!!!
30.Cartoon: Simpsons, Arthur, Proud Family!!!!
31.Character: Glinda .. KERMIT … ooo ooo statler and waldorf ….
32.Disney Character: See prior answer
33.Color: I like em all!!!!!
34.Hair Colour: Extra dirty blonde … I rolled around in the mud one too many times
35.Time of the day: Night
36.Day of the week: Saturday
37.Week of the month: 2nd
38.Month of the Year: July

LOVE LIFE ETC:
39.Do you plan on having children: If my partner does and I am financially stable
40.Do you want to get married: yes
41.How old do you wanna be when you have your first child: shrugs anytime but now
42.How old do you wanna be when your married: When the time is right
43.Would you have kids before marriage? Maybe
44.What would you name the boy? Clouse … lmao
45.What would you name the girl? Essie … lmao …
46.Are you a virgin?: No
47.If so, Do you plan on loosing your virginity ne time soon?:
48.Have you had oral sex?: nods
49.If no, Have you been past base 1?:
50.Do you even know what the bases are?: No … lol
51.Do you have a b/f or g/f (who): No
52.Do you have a crush?: Yes I certainly do

EITHER-OR (PICK WHICH ONE YOU PREFER)
53.Music/TV: MUSIC
54.Guys/Girls: GIRLS
55.Green/Blue: BLUE
56.Pink/Purple: PURINK
57.Sleep/StayUp: STAY UP
58.Summer/Winter: BOTH … I love all the seasons. I especially love watching them change
59.Spring/Fall: BOTH … so pretty
60.Night/Day: NIGHT
61.Hangin Out/Chillin: BOTH
62.Friends/Lovers: BOTH
63.Cold/Warm: COLD
64.Fast/Slow: SLOW
65.New/Old: OLD
66.Dark/Light: DARK
67.Sparkle/Shine: SHINE
68.Peach/Plum: PEACH … mind you plum bum is fun to say
69.Apple/Orange: BOTH
70.Laundry/Dishes: DISHES
71.Christina/Britney: BRIT
72.Limp Bizkit/KoRn: LIMP
73.Rock/Rap: BOTH
74.Pop/R&B: BOTH

WHAT DO YOU THINK? (PUT WHAT FIRST COMES TO MIND WHEN YOU SEE THE FOLLOWING WORDS:)
75.Glass: house
76.Shake: yo ass … but watch yo self
77.Club: 50 cent
78.Sing: THE SUN WILL COME OUT TOMORROW
79.Loud: Megaphone
80.Garcia: Andy
81.Hair: CHER
82.Ching: CHANG
83.Money: Poor
84.Work: FUN!!!!
85.Play: TAG
86.4002: Not this year
87.Betty: BOOP
88.Sara: Sarah Waters (author)
89.Dog: Dalmation
90.Brian: McKnight
91.Nick: Knack patty whack
92.Frank: Anne
93.AM: 740 …
94.FM: 94.7 EASY ROCK!!!!
95.PM: PMS … LMAO … Mrs. Passfield
96.Morning: Good morning western new york
97.Balls: Falls

WHAT DO YOU THINK (WRITE WHAT YOU THINK OF THE FOLLOWING)
98.Eminem: I like some of his stuff. He’s a brilliant person although I don’t agree with all his lyrics. Especially when I had 7 year olds running around singing it at the YMCA
99.Rap: I like rap music …
100.Teenagers: Some of them piss me off, but hell, I was one … SHIT I AM ONE
101.Smoking: Dad … damn him
102.Death: It’s interesting
103.Life: Is complicated
104.Drinking: I enjoy it on the odd day.
105.Bomb Threats: jumps under desk
106.Murder: Interesting to find out why it happenes
107.Suicide: Scary
108.Fear: I fear the unknown

FRIENDZ:
109.Who is your best friend?: Jennifer
110.Who is the best person to hang with?: Everyone and anyone
111.Who is the sweetest person?: Andi, Holly, Aniko, Lisa, Kelly, Erin, Nimisha
112.Whos the cutest person: looks at ground
113.Whos the nicest?: They’re all nice
114.Whos the best to talk online with?: Andi and I talk for hours!
115.Whos the most blonde: Maryann
116.Whos the weirdest: Nimisha
117.Whos the craziest: Nimisha, Theresa
118.Loudest: THERESA!!!!!!
119.Quietest: Emme
120.Smartest: There are a few
121.Quickest: Not Nimisha
123.Most Trustful: ----
124.Most Honest: ---
125.Most Cheerful: Holly

Name Four Bad Habits You Have:
1. Procrastinating
2. Biting My Nails
3. Worrying
4. WORRYING


Name Four Things That You Wish You Had:
1. My own place
2. Somebody to share my love
3. Money
4. A way to find out what my sister is thinking

Name Four Scents You Love:
1. Mint
2. Baking Bread
3. Rain
4. That old mothball scent

Name Four People That Know You the Best:
1. Erin
2. Andi
3. Joey
4. Nimisha

Name Four Things You'd Never Wear:
1. bikini
2. Stirrup pants … lmao … so 90’s
3. Tube top
4. shrugs .. stilettos

Name Four Things You Are Thinking About Now:
1. Andi
2. Dad
3. The song Im listening to
4. Tomorrow

Name Four Things That You Have Done Today:
1. Fed my geese
2. Coughed a lot
3. Finished my book
4. Pet a swan

Name the Last Four Things You Have Bought:
1. Harveys
2. Book
3. pop
4. Something I cant think of

Name Four Bands/Groups/Singers Most People Don't Know You Like:
1. David Bowie
2. Eminem
3. The Killers
4. Keti Garbi

Name Four Drinks You Regularly Drink:
1. Fruitopia
2. Orange Juice
3. Tazo Chai Lattes
4. Root beer

First Grade Teacher's Name?
Mrs Holmes … then she was in an accident and Miss Winters took over … who eventually married a supply teacher Mr. Lopez

Last Words You Said:
Crap that hurt

Last Song You Sang?
Hope- Faith Evans and Twista

Last Person You Hugged?
I don’t know … People randomly hug be and hit my ass at work

Last Thing You Laughed At?
A kid fell on some ice outside

Last Time You Cried?
I got teary watching Shark Tales because the brother shark was crushed

What's In Your CD Player?
Ummm … whats on my mp3??? …. Little Women songs

What Color Socks Are You Wearing?
None

What's Under Your Bed?
Cords

What Time Did You Wake Up Today?
8:40 cause my stupid grandma was in a mood

Current Taste?
gingerale

Current Hair?
Crappy because I feel like crap .. lmao

Current Clothes?
Pjs … I look so damn hot

Current Annoyance?
My cough

Current Longing?
No comment

Current Desktop Picture?
Plain green

Current Worry?
Too many to name

Current Hate?
My cold

Favourite Physical Feature Of The Opposite Sex?
Eyes … but Im not attracted to the opposite sex

Last CD You Bought?
Destiny’s Child way back in the day

Favourite Place To Be?
With my geese

Least Favourite Place?
Alone

Time You Wake Up In The Morning?
9 - 10

If You Could Play An Instrument?
Violin

Favourite Colour?
All of them

Do You Believe In An Afterlife?
Yes

How Tall Are You?
6’2”

Current Favourite Word/Saying?
YEPPERS

Favourite Season?
All of them .. but it’s scary because I am listening to a song from little women called spring!

One Person From Your Past You Wish You Could Go Back And Talk To:
My grandfathers

Favourite Day?
I don’t know

Where Would You Like To Go?
ANYWHERE

What Is Your Career Going To Be Like?
Fun!!

How Many Kids Do You Want?
Not sure

Favourite Car?
thunderbird

Identify Some Of The Things Surrounding Your Computer:
phone, lamp, candles, microphone, cup, ME!!!

I wish you could all see out my window right now. It's so beautiful!
I used to curse over-looking the parking lot, but lately I've noticed the life it has. Tonight the ground glistened under the lamp posts and I couldn't help but just stare. Then these two little kids started running around and sliding on the icy patches. I could hear them laughing and the occasional thud of one of them falling. Then More people came out of the church and another kid started playing with them. They were all running and throwing snowballs, laughing the entire time. It was so cute ... and so wonderful to secretly witness such innocence

I have a craving for a popsicle!!!

Well, I went to work and half way through my shift I felt REALLY ill. I called home and then I called to duty manager, I always get Darren who has no heart and makes me feel even more horrid about leaving. Anyways, I went home and just watched some tv and my stomach seemed to settle down and today I my stomach is okay, but Im very weak and have a terrible cough, which Im guessing will die down through out the day as I wake up. So yea, that was my night. *giggles* I also did a lot of chatting online last night ... talked to Andi for awhile :)

I think I heard Dar with my gingerale!!!!!

Wow do I feel like crap today. I woke up without a voice .... now my stomach is literally RUMBLING ... Blah I feel like shit ... and I keep gagging and what not ... *shrugs* ... and in 1.5 hrs I have to go to work ... JOY!

Are people afraid of me?

I feel so ill ... and I am very angry. I simply asked my mother to pick me up a movie, M&Ms and some gingerale ... I said she could get it all at the same place ... I said she could take my bankcard ... She didn't ... She didn't come back ... I feel so ill ... That's all I wanted ... that's it ... I didn't holler ... I didn't do anything ... I have merely been on my computer or off reading my book ... I have done nothing wrong ... I have stayed out of everyone's way ... I haven't complained to them, except to say I feel very ill. Everyone keeps asking me what it is and I cannot answer. I know I have my period .... but I also have the worst feeling in my chest and cannot get comfortable. *shrugs* ... whatever ... hopefully I will feel better for work tomorrow ... seeing as how work now seems to be my life ... work and feed geese ... I'm turning into some shadow

I've started reading another of Sarah Waters' books. It is called "Affinity" and so far I have, yet again, fallen in love .... I have read 93 pages. That is the most I have read in a couple of hours without getting a migraine or having to coax myself to stay awake ... it's amazing so far! I adore the subjects .... what is going on .... this author, seems to have found the right buttons to push on me ....
*giggles* ... I'm slowly waking up and I don't feel as bad as I did a little while ago ... I'm hoping that Jackie gets out of the bathroom so that I can shower .... I think that'll make me relax .... plus my meds should kick in .... I realized a minute ago that I had forgotten to take my meds yesterday ... *giggles* ... I guess the pains that I am feeling are both from my period and my body reminding me about my meds.
It bugs me sometimes ... to feel that ... my body telling me that I need my meds to function properly ... to feel my chest tie itself in a knot ... and feel the anxiety of my forgetfullness swell up. The worry of what could happen click in .... but then I take my pills .... have some toast and wrap a blanket around me .... my body calms down .... and then I just feel the pain in my head .... the thoughts swimming around at full force .... sharks going after some injured fish .... it'll end though ... my pills will make it easier ... I just need to give it all time ... *shakes head* .... It's so strange though .... going through all of these stages .... sometimes as I go through them I find myself missing some of the feelings .... Odd .... who would choose depression? Who would be happy being depressed? ... Truthfully, I like it. Not all the time of course .... but I like depression ...
Well, looks like the bathroom is clear ... so I can go shake this chill and ache ... I'm sure I'll be back ... I'm in a thoughtful sort of mood ....
If anyone is bored or anything ... CALL

I feel like crap .... I got my period today and I am in so much pain .... I don't know if maybe this is also the tail end of what was going on two weeks ago .... but I haven't had this kind of pain for a long time .... it hurts to do anything .... even breathe ... I want to sleep and yet I can't .... my joints burn and my bones feel like they are going to collapse ....