My fingers have fallen victim to my over active mind. This must be the umpteenth post or email that i have written today and whether or not I will post it, I couldn't tell you now. I've just been typing and typing all sorts of things. Too afraid to post them, for fear of what people will think of me and that brings me to this ...
I wonder why I have let myself become so fearful and sad, when I was once the stone, the solid rock that you could not draw blood or tears from. Suddenly I have become a sponge that seems to be wrung constantly. How could I have let this happen to me? ...
Also I noticed the other day, when I was speaking to a friend, that I believe in everyone else more than I believe in myself. I believe in so many different things, things that are not tangable. SO why is it that I cannot believe in my own damn self?I see my reflection and I feel pain, I am built from the same basic manual as any other human. SO why is it that I give everyone else more credit than I give myself? I love how I can't point out these problems but I don't seem to be able to answer the questions I am asking myself. There is something blocking that one area of my brain. The part where it says you can love yourself, where it says that you are a beautiful person and the part where it says don't worry about them.
While I don't believe in myself, other people do. They prove it to me everyday by just taking the time to post a reply, call me, email me, think of me ... to just be there for me. I thank everyone!