Well the past few days have been pretty intense for me. A lot of thinking, crying, laughing, yelling ... I've been questioning religions and beliefs. I've been questioning other people and myself. Yes, I have even been questioning my existence!
SOrry to tell you all that I really didn't find out that much. Atleast nothing that I can relay on to you all. Basically it's an experience, I'm sure it will come up again, but for now ... I'm kind of happy it happened.
I admit at first I thought my life was caving in, and that I was the one that caused it to do so. Strangely enough, things didn't cave in ... I seemed to have made a stronger structure. Yes, I believe I am learning to deal ... something I previously wasn't capable of doing (yea yea some of you were right bla bla bla).
I have seen the scary parts of me, I have scared people, I have felt love, I have felt pain (physical and mental), I've made friends, I have strengthened friendships, I have cried (A LOT), I've been a good daughter, I've been a good sister ... niece, grand-daughter, cousin ... you name it ... and that's all in the past few days (lol)
I still have some things I have to work out, but I'm doing better with my fears aswell. In all honesty, I have been very afraid of the world and leaving my house for the past couple of months. This fear is one of the reasons that I couldnt go back to school for the semester. I couldn't go out knowing that there were going to be people out. Especially during the day when the everyone is awake, but the other day I took sissy for a walk and ... despite I did freak out in Home Depot ... I was able to go a bunch of places that I would usually need to psych myself up to visit. I think that's saying something. *shrugs* ...

PEOPLE:
Dar and Jackie are having a rough time right now. Dar sent me an email that at the end said "don't tell me anything bad, I don't think I can handle even one more thing"
Mom is suffering right now. Mommy goes through extreme bouts of depression that include confining herself to her room and thinking of suicide. I try to be here for her ... it's hard though.
Grandma is having a rough time to. She seems to have good days and bad days. I mean, I know she's aging, but I'm afraid for her ... she's had to take on a lot for her age.

SHOUTS!
Caitlin, thank you. You're my shoulder to lean on ... and despite the size difference, that shoulder has really helped prop me up.
Laura, you go girl! Never hold back when you post ... especially about you know who
Theresa, I am still here ... despite you probably don't know it ... and I guess I can only blame myself for that one.
Chantal, i don't know if you still read this but ... *hugs* (I think you understand)
Kelly, would you post!!! lmao
Andy, thank you for pushing me to think. Don't blame yourself for anything, because infact, you have helped me more than you can believe.
Julie, I'll have a water on the rocks!!!! What about you?
Fro, we definately have to do the hotel thing ... especially when all of our peeps get home from school. ERIN IS COMING HOME SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!