It looks like I will be watching Jordan and Conor on Thursday during the visitation ... They are taking them before other people go, I think ... SO I'm really not sure what to expect ... I'm not sure what to do ... I mean these children just lost their father and like ... ya know ... How do I respond? ... I'm sure I will do fine ... If anything I am good in bad situations ... strange how I can adapt with other people ...

So yea .. I've got quite a few things on my mind and Im not sure how to type them all out ... Also for the past week I have been constantly having nightmares and strange things seem to be happening ... and that freaks me out ... I hope the man doesn't visit ... he scares me ... although he's only here to protect me