Things have been okay I guess. I battled through a depression period ... in fact I am still battling ... Right now I've got some serious brain stimulation ... like ... things have just been flipped upside down ... some of that "dealing" was really pushing ... and as we all know ... pushing things back isn't good ... pretending things dont exist isnt good ... You know we take a lot for granted ... everyone does ... and I took something for granted recently ... I turned something so extravagant and beautiful ... into a million pieces ... and now I am trying to patch things up as best as I can ... but it's like im building a sand castle with dry sand ... I feel so lost ... and I keep trying to reach out and theres nothing there ... and now Im pannicking ... reaching ... reaching ... all there is, is air. I feel like I brought this upon myself ... I feel that I tried too hard and pushed too much ... I feel like I became something I don't like ... human ... I wanted to stick labels to things ... I wanted to KNOW ... OUr fatal mistake ...we want to know everything ... we want to know why we exist ... which is to live ... isn't it? ... why would we be made only to try and find out why we were made? ... does that make sense ... Whatever .. All I know ... is I don't have to understand ... I have to accept ... It's too bad I learnt this so late ... SO yes ... when you find something beautiful ... enjoy it ... becareful you dont ruin it ... and although you can't make the most intricate sand castle from dry sand ... look closer ... look at the mound of sand infront of you ... look at what it contains ...