Feeling really fucked in the head right now ... I missed taking my pill today and I slept a lot ... PLUS I took yesterday's pill REALLY early ... so yea ... Im on some other planet right now ... I feel so weird and yet mom doesnt seem to care ... Im really hating this. Yes everyone I am upset that my mother doesnt pay half as much attention to me as she used to ... instead she pays attention to the big dufus that acts like a fucking 13 year old WHICH is the years that seperate them. I want to go for a drive but Im not even going to ask because I know the answer and since she knows I forgot my pill she will only blame me ... which I already know is true and dont feel like discussing to great lengths ... I hate that it was me that did this ... I let myself lose control ... ah yes ... here it comes the ever so wonderful anxiety attack ... my head begins to ache and feels like it is going to explode ... I can find every pressure point because the lumps on my head turn hard ... my body begins to twitch every so often ... and I shiver despite my room is hotter than hell ... and here comes the fun part ... the crying ... having no control over my tears and I cant even feel them when I wipe my eyes because my hands and fingers are numb ... the words that I am writing are numb because I cant even feel the keys moving ... it's like Im trapped in a box peeking out a tiny hole that lets air in for me to breathe ... only a little air though ... my chest pounds with every breathe ... and the pain in my head becomes unbearable ... I have to go shower now ... water is the one thing other than a drive that can help me now