Last night I went to a party with my friends. We did the usual hotel thing but we also went to a bar. Everything was strange, everyone seemed to clash at one point or another. I was a raging fire of emotions, but I tried to hide it.
When we went to the bar I was happy. I was pissed off that nobody warned me, because I only had frumpy clothes but Lindsay did my make up in an attempt to make me look decent. Goodness knows how I looked. I had fun for a while dancing and checking out the hotties and then it got a little too packed and I kinda freaked. I walked stepped back to the wall with a friend and just watched everyone ... BIG MISTAKE ... I left myself wide open for thinking time. I began to realize that I was a minority ... I was an invisible minority and as the night went on my thoughts began to unravel.I watched as girls were all over eachother at the bar, but if they were really gay a bunch of people wouldn't tolerate it ... AND if they weren't attractive EVEN MORE people would be disgusted. It hurt me. Then I thought about how I always end up at straight bars, and how Im constantly afraid of who to flirt with, while my other friends are just going crazy. They don't second guess flirting with guys and shit ... I don't know ... and then this thing with sleeping in the same beds as my friends ... I mean I totally have a thing for nimisha and that's been going on longer than my thing for lisa ... yet nimisha will sleep in the same bed as me ... I just dont get it ... im not going to totally come on to you or make a move ... whatever ... nimisha always sleeps with me ... so atleast I wont always get stuck on the floor ...