Well, I was feeling pretty crappy last night after the "party" but I'm okay now.
I just hate that despite how much of an effort I made, my party was a bust. I guess I should leave the party planning for other people. I spent SOOOOOO much and I don't think anybody really had even the slightest bit of fun.
Now this may sound harsh, but I don't think my friends are able to let down their guards and just have fun. We don't have to live every day like we are 80 year olds watching our lives pass us by ... all the while trying to analyze EVERYTHING.
I admit that sometimes when I'm with a group of people I step back and think ... "geez I'm acting like an idiot" ... It's at those moments I wish I could slap myself. It's okay to have fun and not care. It's okay to act like an idiot infront of other people (just don't go too far and loose total control). I mean they might even envey your ability to let loose. You might act as an example.
I wish we weren't all so guarded. I was thinking about each of my friends last night and just analyzing them. I actually wrote some down but I think Im going to delete them because I fear that people will get ahold of them and then get pissed at me. Although it's merely my true thoughts ... I wonder what you all think of me ... what's your analysis .... lol ... Trisha keeps telling me what she sees in me and her opinions on my quirks ... I really like it ... opening up another door ... somebody is FINALLY telling me to quit it .... to quit giving in to my anxieties ... combatting my own thoughts ... what a great fucking idea!!!!
posted by Tall Girl @ 3:36 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I've been telling you that for over a year now!
Did you write about me??!! If you did, you should definitely post it- if you comment on my chronic nose-picking I'm gonna beat you up with my pecs.
It's not your fault, hunny. The problem is we're all busy. Don't take it personally. Between school and work I have no time. We're all growing up, and at some point we have to take responsibility for ourselves. Personally, I feel like I'm getting too old to be at the clubs. If I'm not too old physically, I'm mentally beyond that. (Is it not sad that we qualify for the VIP line next year?) Letting loose is great and all, but there are times to do such a thing. And it is not when I have to go to work the next morning at 8:30 and I have been between work and classes all day. I wish I only had one or the other, but this term in particular my schedule is pretty unrelenting. If I'm not at work, I'm at school, and those few precious hours that are mine I like to just sit back with a glass of wine and read a book that is not theoretical or needed for an upcoming paper.
Sorry, Gill, I don't want you to feel bad about the party. We're all just so busy. When the spring rolls around I promise a good old fashioned crazy-ass party.
I didn't want a crazy ass party. I actually am not one for getting drunk or going out to the clubs either.
I go just for the sake of going and being around people. I much prefer just having a drink and talking the night away. I like bars and pubs .. not clubs and underage people getting shit faced.
When I talk about acting like an idiot, I mean just being a goof.
A party to me is just hanging out and being social. You don't have to drink 4 coolers then play some strange card game and make an ass out of yourself.
I just wanted people to relax and have fun.
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