Then it happened

The self destruction of my happiness and the ripple effect.

As always I reach a certain point and then I sabotage my happiness before somebody else can. The only thing, I forget to think of others before I go charging in to self destruct. I think with my heart instead of my head.
Now I've hurt somebody I love dearly and I'm scrambling to make things right. I lie and again I don't stop to think ... and when I do think, I don't like the answers that I am coming up with, so I completely disregard them.
I just cause more hurt than there needs to be.
Why do I have to be so self absorbed and ignorant? Why as humans do we have the ability to label faults but we can't change ourselves