Damn depression!
Damn my mind!
Damn Damn Damn

Ugh I've been a fucking volcano lately waiting to go off. I couldn't even mask it last night at work, everyone knew I was depressed. I'm depressed and angry right now. I am completely frusterated with everything. Looking at where I am, where I hope to be and the reality of it all. I want to aim high and I d, but some days reality seems to be holding me down. How can I move forward whilst my family reverses? Shouldn't I stick by them and suffer the same fate? Should I not try to lend a hand at pulling us from the wreckage? I know I could move ahead and do great things. OSAP would carry me far enough aswell as my job, after school I could search for something better and then again go back to school. I could travel and work up an amazing resume. I really could push myself that far. Then I look around me and I see a broken family. We are each afraid of the other and truth seems to be lost. There is this fading communication and we are tired from fighting so much. Not just with eachother but with everyone else, to merely make our lives better. They have given me so much and I want to give back. Not in a few years. Now, I want to give them everything now. I cannot stand to see their depression deepen into this gaping hole.
I cannot watch as they age beyond their years and just accept anything because they have lost their self worth. How could I leave them to that? What would I come back to in years? I couldn't leave them. So I struggle. I struggle beside them. I struggle with them. I too fade away in the sands of time. One day ... One day I will rise above.