I went to the hospital. Apparently I strained the shit out of my back yesterday ... so Im back to being bed ridden .. lmao .. I swear this is so damn frusterating. I can't stand being stuck in bed, wasting my days ... it's such a waste of time ... I cant even go for a walk outside now ... I hate not being productive ... Im a burden to everyone because I can hardly get up to go to the bathroom ... let alone out to the kitchen to get a drink ...
Last night when I was at the hospital, I suddenly had to go to the bathroom, but my back had locked up on me again. Mom had left.. (I was at the Dieu's prompt care) ... So I rolled out of bed and onto a rolly chair my mom had been sitting on. I pushed myself to the bathroom but the big door to the room was blocking it and I knew I couldnt stand up, push it open and squeeze past. There was a lady cleaning up the other beds (I was the only one left in the room) and I asked her if she could close the door. She asked what was wrong and I told her I could get up to get to the bathroom and I started to get upset and cry ( here I am stuck in a chair because my back had locked) ... I felt helpless yet determined, hence the rolly chair .. she came over and then got another lady to help stand me up so there wasnt so much pressure on my back. When she came back in the room and I apologized through my tears .. she said not to worry and stroked my hair back. She couldn't believe I was able to get so far on my own ... the other lady came and as they helped me she asked when they last gave me something for the pain ... I said they hadnt and she was like ... you poor thing no wonder ... After that I walked back to my bed, they came and shot me with Morphine and guess what ... it hardly did squat ... but whatever after having Xrays of my back he said I must have strained my back and since I just had surgery my body is on overload
So yea .. I'm kind of upset/angry/depressed today ...