Well ... another big step in my life ...

It is time to forgive and work on patching relationships.
I have been so afraid of seeing my father's side of the family. Afraid I've waited too long. Afraid they don't want to see me. Afraid I will be blamed for things.
I have now realized that yet again I am letting fear rule me. They are my family and nothing should stop me from seeing them and trying to patch things up. It's time I grow up and stop waiting on everyone else to make a move.
Last week I saw numerous members of my dad's side of the family. Kary-ann, Taylor, Sean, Annabelle, Gail and yes ... last week I saw my father.
HE is now a cook at the casino and also makes fudge at a souvenir shop. He looks better than before. Healthier. I told my mother that I saw him and although she was upset in some ways that in reality the system should have been taking money from his paycheques ... She finally said that she is not going after him for money. I think hearing her say that relieved an extreme amount of pressure off of my shoulders.
So now I am ready .... I'm ready to grow ... mature ... heal ... finally

ANother big news event is we took my sister to Hamilton to see a spinal specialist. My sister's S curves have changed from 36* to 53*s meaning that there is more pressure in certain areas. Her right hip joint is out but they dont know how much that has changed. The curve in the spine means my sister's not centered on her axis and her head leans to the right side ... yet again causing pain. The doctor said these problems do not directly relate to the major one we are trying to figure out. So in some ways we are back to square one. All that is for certain is that this is the beginning of what I have feared ... and all we can do is take it one step at a time and hope for the best.
I'm scared ....